Law School Musical

In February, I participated in an annual tradition at Loyola Law School: Wit of Mandamus IV, the variety show for students, faculty, and alumni. I closed out the show with a rendition of "Law School Musical" by Owen Jarvis:



The lyrics (as performed) are:

I used to think I was smart, till I came to law school
I used to sleep at night, till I came to law school
I used to have a life, till I came to law school
I thought I was the shit
But now I know I'm not shit
Thanks to law school

I can't stand when I see friends and family
And they ask me, "How's law school?"
And I have to say something besides
It's driving me crazy, and the work is endless
And the stress relentless, and my arguments defenseless
And my choice of profession was senseless

You know I used to have a sense of humor, till I came to law school
I never used to hear voices, till I came to law school
I never had gray hairs, till I came to law school
I thought I was the shit
But now I know I'm not shit
Thanks to law school

And this 1L life is hell
Gettin' by on the cheapest shit the liquor store sells
This 1L life is hell
All I own are instant noodles and a broke-ass Dell
And this 1L life is hell
For everything I learn I forget something else
And this 1L life is hell
Made me a shadow of my former self

Cases are scriptures, outlines are Bibles
Professors are preachers, and my friends are my rivals
For now no one will hire me, and if they did they'd soon fire me
But I guess I'll be happy when I'm a retiree
Cuz right now I'm broke, and my checkbook's my diary
If you got cash to spare, could you please wire me?

I'll pay you back after the bar (he won't pass the bar)

And leave law school
I'm leavin' law school

For more on Wit of Mandamus IV, see here.